Category: Uncategorized

Queen of Play It By Ear

Expectation: I will write and post on my blog every week.

Reality: I think about writing on my blog every day, but then forget. Such is the life of a mom to a young two year old. Constantly distracted and always wanting a nap. When I do finally get a moment to myself, I either fall asleep on the couch or try to clean the house. I’m always trying to find that balance between being a mother & wife and still being me. It really is hard to make time for yourself. I used to think it was silly that people struggled with self care, I had never had a problem with it.

I have always had an easy time taking care of me because I always had a lot of time. I would take bubble baths every week. Workout 5 days a week. Cook sometimes delicious meals for my husband and myself. Bake apple strudel and cupcakes just because I felt like it. Now, when I think I want to take a bubble bath, I remember that I need to clean the tub and just forget the whole thing. When I think I have some time to workout I almost always choose to take a nap. I haven’t been very successful with my naps lately, either. I just lay there thinking 1. how tired I am and 2. how many things I need to do around the house. I also think that any minute my son will wake from his nap, so what’s the point of trying to get anything done.

When I can push past the fatigue and the voice telling me to take a nap, I can accomplish a lot. For instance, while I was holed up in the house taking care of a sick kiddo (stomach bug), I somehow managed to read 4 books in a week. I didn’t want to disturb him while he was sleeping and resting so I decided to just read. It felt amazing to read four books in a week. I haven’t done that in a few years.

This makes me think that I should create some kind of schedule, like on Mondays I can read during nap time and on Wednesdays I will workout and on the weekend I will do both because my husband is home. I like the idea of a schedule, but I know I won’t do it. I hate having a schedule, it feels so restrictive. I like to play things by ear. So much so, that my brother in law once told my husband that I was the Queen of Play it by Ear. We were all on a ski trip and I would always decide in the morning if I wanted to ski or do something else for the day. I didn’t want to commit too far ahead of time.

I don’t think it was supposed to be a compliment, but I’ve taken it on like a badge of honor. I actually really like this definition of the phrase, it sounds like a good thing!

To make decisions about what action to take in an adaptive, flexible way, based on the circumstances. From here.

I always joke with my husband about this quirk of mine. He doesn’t really mind it too much and for that I love him even more.

So, how do you balance doing the things you want to do with the things you need to do?

Workout thwarted by a toddler in a box

Formerly Know as Granola Girl

When I was in college, I had a friend that called me Granola Girl. I had a penchant for wearing skirts & dresses over jeans and wearing a bandanna over my hair. I wore hemp necklaces and thrift store clothes. I took art classes and was an English Literature major. I listened to hippie music, though I also loved Radiohead and metal. I liked going camping and went a whole week without taking a shower at a music festival once. In short, I was a hippie, or aspired to be one, at least.

After college I moved home and got a retail job. My hippie days slowly ended and I started dressing better. Even though my free spirited college days were over, that little granola girl was still inside. She has inspired me over the years to reclaim my hippie aspirations, even if I’m wearing skinny jeans and moto boots.

Back in 2005, I used to buy bottled water constantly and then one day I decided that it was kind of silly to pay for water when I had perfectly good tap water. I was also getting more cavities from only drinking bottled water. Once I switched back to tap water, by teeth issues went away. This is not to say that I never buy bottled water, because I do, on occasion. When I was pregnant I drank those 1 liter Smart Waters like they were going out of style. In the early days of breastfeeding I downed those Smart Waters every day. When I travel, I sometimes buy bottled water even though I bring a reusable water bottle, too.

I’ve used cloth napkins since 2005. I rarely buy paper napkins. I got some cute fall napkins when I hosted Thanksgiving one year and some Swedish ones for my son’s first birthday party. For some reason, this fall I thought it would be a good idea to buy 180 paper napkins at Costco for my son’s 2nd birthday party. Now they are staring at me every day and I feel so guilty for buying them and using them up. Ugh.

Perhaps that’s what I mean when I say I’m not so crunchy. According to UrbanDictionary.com the definition of crunchy is:

Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc. 

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores. 

Modified derivative of granola.

Now, I can’t say I’m all or any of those things, but I am vegan. I donate to charities that help the earth and people. I love the outdoors. I use vinegar to clean and I want to start composting. I’m a little bit crunchy and still a granola girl at heart.

Montana, 2002. Pre-digital, so I don’t have a lot of photos from my granola days.

Motherhood Begins

I think I became a mother as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I knew my life was never going to be the same. I was going to have 40 weeks, give or take, to adjust to my new role. I won’t say being pregnant is the easy part of motherhood, because it’s not, but this part of motherhood is all contained within. You can still live your life with some minor adjustments.

While I had a lot of expectations about the kind of parent I would be, I didn’t really have a lot of expectations about how being pregnant would go. I knew I would probably have morning sickness, I would gain weight, and I would be tired. That’s about it. I couldn’t be disappointed in my pregnancy because I didn’t have any dreams about a magical experience. I knew it would be a tiring and amazing journey.

Did I have morning sickness, or as I like to call it, all-day nausea? Yes. I was nauseous for most of my pregnancy, but I never threw up. I think I got a break around months 7 and 8, but it came back in the end. Did I have weird food cravings? Not really. I craved carbs during the first half and salty things during the second half. I stayed largely vegan (except for the occasional cookie) during my pregnancy. The smell of meat has made me feel sick for years and it definitely still grossed me out when I was pregnant. I never craved meat or fish or eggs or cheese. (Side note- my doctor was fine with my vegan diet). These things I expected.

What I didn’t expect or really know about was the raging heartburn I would get and the intense hip pain that would keep me up at night. Even after eliminating the usual heartburn offenders I still had it. I swear, even water gave me heartburn. Tums didn’t cut it, so it was Zantac 150 all the way. Tip- get the name brand. The generic did nothing for me. As for hip pain, I never got much relief. The body pillow did nothing to help. All I could do was toss and turn and try the couch. I never tried getting a massage or a chiropractic adjustment because I just kept thinking it was going to go away.

Want to know the best way to get rid of both heartburn and hip pain? Deliver your baby! As soon as I gave birth I immediately noticed that my heartburn was gone. The hip pain left too. I know, not much comfort if you’re still suffering, but it does get better.

Oh, and one other thing. You know how you’re supposed to get beautiful, healthy hair when you’re pregnant? That didn’t happen to me until month 8. I actually lost hair those first few months! I was so disappointed! At least I got to enjoy my luscious locks for a few months before it started falling out again once my hormones adjusted after delivery.

Overall, though, my pregnancy was smooth with no complications. It went how I thought it would. It was amazing and annoying at the same time. How was yours?

Me, one week before I went into labor.

A little bit about me

Hi! My name is Kirsten and I’m the Not So Crunchy Mom. I’m in my late 30s and am the mom to a 2 year old. When I had my son I had dreams of baby wearing, elimination communication, breastfeeding, and all organic food. I was going to be a crunchy mom.

Those dreams flew out the window right after my son was born. Recovering from a c-section, with my hormones dropping, postpartum depression and anxiety hit. I was in survival mode. I had to compromise to find balance and make it through to the other side. Now,  two years later, I am becoming the mom I thought I would always be. I’m just a little but crunchy.

I hope to share my story and encourage other moms and parents whose dreams don’t match reality. Along the way, I’ll post about my other favorite topics- minimalism, veganism, fitness, and travel. Thanks for joining me!